Oh, The Wonders of Tinder

 

Tinder is always so fascinating. You put "Also, I love giving head" in your bio and all the men start swiping right. Like, first of all, that was directed at the women. But having this in my bio led to something very interesting, and frankly, I'm glad that I'm leaving this damn country forever in November. American men seem to be far too desperate. 

I don't wanna expose this poor boy to the World Wide Web, but if you're crazy rich, crazy smart and got accepted to Yale and Brown on a full ride, you should've gone this semester. Instead, this boy went on a cross-country road trip with his friends. Like, must be nice to have this time and money to do what you want before you're confined to the shackles of academia for the next four years of your life. 

Anyways...I did end up hooking up with him in his car on the side of a not-so-private street, and let me tell you guys, as someone who's only sucked (and taken) a silicone dick, sucking a real one was not much different. But it was warmer, I'll tell you that. He did use too much tongue when we were making out though...kind of unappealing. As this was my first heterosexual tryst, it was interesting. In my 19 years of living, I had only kissed girls, and would've never imagined kissing a guy. But I guess I'll try anything once. 

This desperate hookup was a result of being locked down in Lafayette for way too long, and basically becoming a born again virgin as a result of not having sex for 6 months. Like deadass, within 4 hours of coming back to New Orleans, after much back and forth with this guy about me being a lesbian and not being able to do it, and then eventually saying "fuck it" for experimental purposes, I was in this guy's cheap ass car making out with him on the side of Prytania St. 

Nevertheless, this tryst changed my view on men, maybe since this guy didn't care if I got off or not. He LITERALLY pleased me for like 5 seconds. No joke. 

But, to conclude, this hookup ended in shame and indignity, but it was a fun experiment.

But this is the thing, right? Hooking up with a guy for the first time made me question a lot, because I had gone much of my teenage years thinking that I was a full-blown lesbian, but that tryst really had me questioning my sexuality. In the end, after a lot of internal debate, I'm done with labelling myself, and I'm just going to be me. Unlabelled. 

 Look out for the next post, where I tell the tale of my first date in like, forever. 

Have a great day! And remember, stay safe out here. The pandemic isn't over just because you're over it. 

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