Not Quite Sure How To Feel...

 

So, as I'm sure you've discovered from my previous posts, I haven't had sex with a guy like, ever. Up until this experimental hoe phase. I swear, within two weeks of coming back to New Orleans, I've experimented with my sexuality more than I ever have in the past 19 years. Anyways, you've probably already guessed that it was another Tinder hookup, and this time, it was funny, because he went to the same university as I did...at times like this I'm grateful that I did all my classes online. 

This time around, it was a proper booty call. Like, Ubering to his place at 2am with nothing but a jean jacket with condoms and essentials (keys, perfume, hand sanitizer, debit card) in the pockets. Old Navy jean jackets may be cheap, but they're perfect for when you don't want to carry a small purse. Also, never Uber anywhere at 2am, those super late night drivers are pretty weird. Also, remember to share your location with your close friend(s) before going to a hookup's house!! You never know what could happen. 

Anyways, I reached this guy's house, and like he opened the door and a dog was there!! Honestly that dog was very much worth the weird Uber ride and staying up this late for some (what I would later discover) mediocre dick. 

Side note: I'm Southeast Asian, and it's really weird to me how Americans just walk around their house with dirty ass shoes like, why would you dirty up your house for no good reason?

Okay so back to the story: We go upstairs, I leave my jacket full of essentials in his room, and he smokes me out (albeit the fact that he couldn't roll a joint for shit.) After we finish the terribly rolled joint, I kind of say: "So...you wanna go do things...?" and then we go-- you know --do things. 

I've never had sex in complete darkness before, or at least, it's been a while. But making out with someone and going to second base in pitch darkness is a whole different thing when you have to feel around. And because I'm used to sleeping with women, I had to constantly remind myself that he had a dick and that was like, the only thing to stimulate while making out. Needless to say, he did give me some really great head, like, I don't think any woman's ever been so enthusiastic about going down on me, besides my ex when she went down on me for the first time, maybe. 

In hindsight, I'm glad that I brought a handful of condoms with me. You really never know how many times a man can reach orgasm after not having had sex in a while. Seeing as this was the guy I lost my hetero-virginity to, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, he didn't make me orgasm, but you can only experience so much pleasure when you're depressed. But it really wasn't a whole lot different from a silicone dick, like I said in a previous post, it's just warmer. 

The post-coital cuddling was weird though, because I'm used to being the big spoon and once again, I'm used to cuddling a woman post-coitus. This man was feeling all up on me, and I thought that meant that he was ready for another round, but men just get real sleepy after they orgasm and need like an hour to recover, so he was just feeling up on me for no good reason. But it was sweet to feel that kind of affection which I haven't felt in a while (well, since the date with the girl from yesterday's post.) This is part of why I'm not going to have sex with a man for a while, because women just have like that insane energy where we can go at it for like 4 hours and still want to go at it after a 15 minute rest period. And truthfully, I need that kind of energy with a sexual partner, because if you're going to keep me up until 2am on a Saturday night (well, Sunday morning), I expect like, the most. 

But after this man recovered from this WAP, we went at it again for what felt like 15 minutes, and might I tell you that the only thing that kept me from leaving his place in the wee hours of the morning was how assertive he was. I don't think anyone I've hooked up with has been so like, dominant. This man was like pulling me by the backs of my calves and resting my ankles on his shoulders, and honestly it just had me weak in the knees. Unfortunately no third round happened, and I fell asleep as he cuddled me. 

I just wanna mention here that, when we were making out, he smelled like cigarette smoke, which, can be sexy when mixed with a nice cologne--but straight cigarette smoke is never sexy. I mean yeah we smoked before doing the deed but at least joint smoke doesn't linger like cigarette smoke does. Oh and lest I forget, he also had like a bit of scruff, and the last guy I made out with had a face as smooth as a baby's bum. So it was also a very different experience. But...when someone with a scruffy face is kissing your neck, good God, it feels like HEAVEN. Frankly, that's all I can vividly remember from this booty call. Oh, and his SHEETS. Dear God, do men like, not wash their sheets every two weeks like the rest of us? His sheets were MUSTY, and frankly, this is also part of why I'm not going to sleep with a man for a while. Like, the smell of his sheets STILL lingered in my hair after a nice, long, sin-cleansing shower. But, back to the story, again...

I woke up an hour later dazed and confused, and honestly, a little ashamed. I had to like sneakily crawl out of his bed and hunt for a bathroom to pee because A) I had an insane need to pee and B) I forgot to pee after we had sex, so guys, always remember to pee after you get that dick. It baffled me that this man had no hand soap in his bathroom, and Holy Me thanked Crazy Me for bringing hand sanitizer. I fumbled around my jacket for my phone, and sent my suitemate his address just in case. After an hour of internally debating weather to leave, my friend recommended that I leave, but give him a kiss on the cheek before dipping and doing a walk of shame to my Uber. I did that, and honestly, I should've dipped without a word, or a kiss. I feel like I keep getting played by people who I've hooked up with for no good reason. It's almost like I have this extended-release thing where they just...don't seem to hit me up after hooking up. It's kind of tragic, but I guess that's life. In the end, it doesn't matter, because in a few months I'll finally be out of New Orleans, and I don't need any form of romantic or sexual attachment to anyone. 

I sadly said bye to his lovely dog, and hopped in my Uber to Whole Foods because a girl was hungry as hell! Sex really does burn a lot of calories, and when you practically starve yourself before a dick appointment, you're bound to be ravenous by the time you wake up. Shoutout to Whole Foods' sandwich station, because that Turkey and Brie sandwich was the only thing that revived me and released me of my sin (barely). 

I feel like I'm going to get my gay card revoked for saying this, but sucking dick is actually not all that bad. In fact, I quite liked it, and I'm just a tad ashamed to be confessing that. But also, there's nothing wrong with changing your opinion on something you thought you'd never do. 

It's funny because, this man never hit me up afterwards, and I guess it was a sign that being a hoe wasn't for me. Despite all that happened that morning, it was just meaningless, and obviously, emotionless. 

Hope you enjoyed today's post! Watch this space for the next post.

Stay safe out there, y'all. And remember, the pandemic isn't over just because you're over it. Wear your mask, wash your hands, keep your distance, and practice safe EVERYTHING.